My dear Craig,
it has been five months
since your father
and my beloved sister died.
Surely there is no time limit on grief
and sorrow.
I know you have expressed misgivings about the steel business.
But perhaps this is the time
to seek the comforts of your traditions.
You are young and particularly vulnerable
now that your parents are dead.
Come work with me.
I have heard you are involved in some real estate venture.
Is this the time to divorce yourself from family?
To take up with unsavory strangers?
You are, after all, a Blake.
Please, let me hear from you.
Fondest regards, Uncle Albert.
I'll bet you 50 I can beat you to the meeting.
Double it for a hundred.
We don't want to keep that Blake boy waiting.
I'm in. We jumpin' reds, Jabo?
I see a piece of pelt I'd like to jump over here.
If I'm lying, I'm dying. Look out, y'all.
I'm hot as fire and I'm burning up Birmingham.
You're standing still, Chub-chub. Blink once, you're miss me.
Cowboys, well, you can read 'em and weep 'cause the Hueytown Flash has arrived.
Well, we're nearly home, then.
Two more pieces of property,
we have the whole block sewed up.
What'd you finally get that tailor down to, Walter Jr.?
Thirty-five thousand on a refinance.
Like talking to a mule, that old man.
But he come to see the light.
That's fine as wine.
How you coming, Hal?
Still working on it.
Now, Craig, this last piece of property,
looks like you're gonna have to buy it
since you the only one left without his name on some paper.
Like you say, I'll just go on over yonder
and make that boy an offer right down around his ankles.
Yeah, you do that, boy.
And if he don't bite, well, you move up around his knees.
Shit, we don't need to tell you nothing.
You'll charm that dude blind.
Isn't that right, fellas?
Give me 10, Mr. Blake.
They made enough on that Pell City deal to buy Alabama.
We're lucky they let us in on this thing.
Lucky? They're the lucky ones.
Now look. Just keep it simple. Just go down and buy the place.
Then the corporation buys it back and we own the block.
We build the biggest office high rise in the city.
I know how it works.
My great grandfather built this town by eating guys like that for breakfast.
Wasn't this your father's car?
Yeah. I figured it needed little air.
Are you sure you're okay up there alone?
Yeah, I'm sure.
I'll see you at the club on Saturday. I got the court for 10:00.
Good. See you there.
You'd better put your top up.
Welcome to the Olympic. I'm Mary Tate Farnsworth.
Honey, I don't think you should be hanging upside down anymore.
Welcome to the Olympic. I'm Mary Tate Farnsworth...
Actually, I'm just here to look around.
Well, just take them steps.
Thank you.
- You a businessman? - You got it.
- Hiya, I'm Franklin Coates. - Craig Blake.
- Show you around the place? - Sure.
Now, Mr. Walker you keep leaning on that barrel, there.
You just ease back on it. That's my man.
Here, right this way.
Now, this thing here is the studio.
Over here we got massage and rays.
Hey...
This way.
You see, this pool here is kept at 110 degrees at all times.
It's got herbs in it.
- Kills crabs, does it? - Huh?
Yeah.
Gain, reduce or tone.
You see, we're supposed to put you on a program.
Is the guy on the sign on a program?
Joe Santo? Mr. Austria?
You can bet your ass he don't need no program.
Yeah, well, neither do I.
- What time does he come in? - Excuse me...
- Mr... - Blake.
- Thor Erickson. - How do you do, Mr. Erickson?
- Just call me Thor. - Thor.
Now, Mr. Blake, there's some builders and lifters work out at 6:00 to 8:00 at night...
That's what I was trying to tell him, Thor. I was explaining about these boys...
- Mr. Erickson... - That's their time now.
They're not your kind of folks. Them boys are rough as a cob.
What line are you in, Mr...
Blake. I'm a businessman.
- A man of decision, real estate. - Relax there.
Get the most for the least. Know what I mean?
You look in pretty good shape.
I was taking a little look at your place here and...
I might get excited about something like this.
How much do you want for it?
Dear Uncle Albert,
I recognize that I am involved with unorthodox business people.
As you advised, I am proceeding cautiously.
Business causes tension.
But, as you would expect, confidently.
Sincerely, Craig.
Hey. Hold it, right there. Hold it right there on that spot.
Hey, hey, it's all right.
He was up here a couple of days ago. And Thor says it's okay.
- Did you eat yet? - I had a little lunch.
What you trying to say?
- Thor didn't tell me nothing about it. - Well, he told me.
It's better if don't have nothing on your stomach.
Good.
Better not be no spy, say I
Better not be no spy
Better not be no spy, I say
Newton, please.
What's this contest?
Mr. Universe. Next month.
Thor's been saving Joe up for it.
He don't want the wrong people seeing him or wouldn't nobody enter.
Are you his trainer?
I'm his grease man.
Oil him up before exhibition.
You call lifting them iddy-biddy things working out?
Yeah, I think the man's doing fine.
Just fine.
I've been watching him now for a while and he's really moving big.
He moves like he used to play hockey.
Hey, Franklin, ask him if he used to play hockey.
- You play hockey? - Tell Batman it was lacrosse.
But I can see how he got confused.
Hey, Joe, you gonna be long?
Mary Tate and Anita are over at the club,
so why don't you all go head and I'll catch up with you later. Okay?
Listen, we got a pool table over there. You play?
- Where's Joe at? - Still pumping iron.
Too bad. The band wanted him to sit in on a set tonight.
Let's don't have any trouble out of you?
- Don't sweat it, Hayes. - Don't get on nobody.
See?
What else does this Santo guy do besides lift weights?
There ain't nothing Joe Santo don't do.
The man bowls 200.
Was near about an Olympic swimmer.
And before he come here from Austria,
he was world champion of curling. You...
You know what that is?
He's quite a guy, isn't he?
Damn straight.
Corner.
Let me tell you something, buddy.
When Joe takes that title next month, he's...
He's gonna have done it all.
You got a hot stick, my man. Very hot.
Rack 'em up.
Let's hear it for the band, y'all.
Anita, she comes from Chicago.
Don't flash those greenbacks. Excuse us.
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
She teaches down at the gym twice a week.
What she teach?
Hey, Franklin.
Karate. Black belt. Listen, I'm gonna say hello to my friend over here.
All right, I'll see you back at the table.
- Hey, hey, buddy. - Sorry.
What are y'all?
I mean, y'all are pretty big dudes.
You play football or what?
Yeah, we play for Auburn.
What do you play?
Scatback.
I figured you played something like that.
What's your name?
Blake. Buck Blake.
Yeah. Well, thanks, Blake. War Eagle, now, you hear?
I hear ya.
Hi, Buck Blake. Don't get nervous. Joe wouldn't care.
You know something?
You look like a swamp. I've been meanin' to tell you that.
- I look like a what? - A swamp.
You know, with all that blonde hair and eyes and stuff.
I really like the way you look.
Except for that. What is that? It looks like a little ole baby squirrel's tail.
Watch out, don't get no poop on ya now.
Then last month I was in Cozumel for sailfish.
And September, a bunch of us guys
we get together, go down to Mexico and shoot white wing dove.
I personally can't see that, shooting birds.
It's cheaper than shooting craps and better than shooting people.
I can see shooting doves.
My dentist had this freezer filled with doves.
I hate that.
There are so many of them down there that they eat up all the crops.
And as for the crops, I personally feel whoever gets there first should eat 'em.
How come you told me you couldn't dance?
Couldn't dance?
Darling, I've been waltzing since I've been on solid food.
You see?
- Hey, hey, excuse me, buddy. - We're still dancing.
- Can I talk to you a minute? - Listen, Craig...
Can I talk to you?
Listen, did you tell my buddy over there that you played ball with Auburn?
Come on, Craig, let's dance.
Yes, I did. But I was just kidding.
Well, you're a liar. You're a liar.
'Cause I watch every game they play and they ain't got no scatback.
And they ain't got nobody named Blake, either.
You understand what I'm saying to you. Do you understand?
- Hey, big fella, we don't want no hassle. - Then stay out of it.
Hey, now, we're just having a good time here.
You met my buddy Blake, he's having a good time.
Aren't ya, Blake?
I've told you a thousand times!
I've told you, it ain't right! It just ain't right!
It ain't right!
God damn it.
- Excuse me. - How's it going?
- It's going to be all right. - Let me see.
Good hit.
- Who are you? - Joe Santo.
Santo.
I'm sorry I just came in here. I couldn't...
Hey, were you really a curling champion?
- That thing with the ice and the brooms? - Yeah.
Why don't you wash of and I'm sure you will be all right.
- We'll wait for you outside, okay? - All right. Good.
Sorry, I wasn't here to help.
Hey, Blake, is this house for sale or what?
No, not exactly. It's my parents' house.
They on vacation?
No. They're dead.
- Then it's yours? - No, it's theirs.
- If they're dead, it's got to be yours. - Shut up, you asshole.
You know that you have the most gorgeous collection of cut glass out there.
That's my grandmother you're looking at there.
And that was her favorite chair.
Look, Mary...
The whole thing ought to be in a museum.
Hey, Craig.
Been looking for you.
Lunch.
- How are you feeling? - Got up a little late.
Yeah, I wish you'd wind your damn clock every once in a while.
I had to beat 'em with old Lester here.
The big server.
I assume you acquired that ear
on one of your more peculiar pursuits of higher meaning, Suavey.
That's right.
Don't y'all ever get tired of these goddamn club sandwiches?
I'm gonna order hash up here one day.
They wouldn't serve it to you.
Harold!
I want some red flannel hash, Harold.
Guess whose hands are over your eyes and win yourself a sweet surprise.
Amy, don't encourage him.
Golda Meir?
No, you big silly, but you get a kiss anyway.
Oh, listen, dearies, I am having the awfulest time
finding an authentic for my party this year.
Can't some of you young bucks help?
You mean like that one-man-band guy that fell on his drum?
You know, anything authentic, for the bridge room.
Craig, be a muffin and find something for me, will ya, honey?
You got the right man, Amy. He knows every weirdo in town.
- That's three horses. - What?
You can send me a check, Halsey.
You bet.
Hey, wait up a sec. I'll walk out with you.
Don't bother.
I'll let you know when I've got it wrapped up.
You sure now?
Eleven, good. Come on now. Push it.
Stand it up. Twelve.
Twelve, twelve, twelve...
You should have had 15.
Them judges are gonna read them quadriceps like road maps.
- How's the promotion going? - Good. Good. We got 40 entries already.
Guys coming in from all over the country.
But there ain't one of them who'll be able to touch you by the time we get through.
They talk about that Doug Stewart from Amarillo.
Well, Doug Stewart is gonna mess up his britches when he sees you.
'Cause with your body and my know-how, we're going all the way.
Where's all the way?
Now, don't give me that mealy mouth crap, Santo.
A month from now, you're gonna be rich as cream and feeling fine.
I feel fine already.
Why don't you put some weight on the bar, pussy?
Hey, man. Thor here.
Are you here for a workout?
- Maybe. - Great.
Santo, come on, let's go.
Thor, I was hoping you and I could talk a little business.
Yeah, what kind of business?
Well, I was curious if you'd...
Well, I ain't got no time for curiosity.
Besides, this is Saturday.
You want to see me, call me during business hours.
Hey, he's been drinking.
Blake.
Now, Santo's got biceps, a few more, to think about.
Now, by God you'd better not bother him.
Make your thighs burn. Good.
You see, you can't grow without burning.
It's the repetition that defines the muscle.
Do it faster, get the blood into the legs.
Come on, just keep the tension on the pecs. Yes.
Isn't it much harder?
I think we had something like this at school.
I'm not sure I still got the form down here.
Tell me if I'm doing this right?
- Is that it? - I never do that one.
Say, what is this Batman routine of yours?
Is that for concentration or what?
Not really. I think it's funny.
It adds a little humor to the workouts.
You should have seen me last year.
I wore a frogman outfit. Everybody was laughing.
Just keep right on talking, Santo.
Remember, they don't judge lip muscles.
They judge thighs, they judge legs, they judge backs, but no lips.
I can't wait until this whole thing is over, man.
Be sure and turn them lights off before you leave.
Say what is there, just one Mr. Something after another?
How about galaxy?
Now, is there a Mr. Galaxy?
Listen, I don't care about these titles.
But if win this one,
I could make enough money to pay Thor all the debts I owe him.
What kind of debts?
He's the one who brought me over here from Austria.
He got my working permit.
Helped me with the visa, things like that.
Anyway...
I could pay him back with the money I make from endorsements.
Endorsements. That's kind of like selling your name, isn't it?
Yeah, but it doesn't bother me.
You see, names don't mean any more to me than titles.
Man, I've got some relatives who'd argue with you about that.
A terrible sign, isn't it?
No. I like it.
Goodbye, Mother.
- Whose old car is that? - Come on, I'll introduce you.
Joe Santo. Mary Tate Farnsworth. Dorothy Stephens.
- Hi. - Hi.
Nice to meet you.
Right back at you, hon.
Had your breakfast... I'm sorry. Gosh, that was alive, isn't it?
Everybody smile.
What was your father?
He was sculptor and a teacher.
Excuse me, for being so direct. I've always heard that...
That...
People of your profession were...
Homosexual?
I can only speak for myself.
But if you want me to prove it...
- More fish? - No.
Do you know the Russian writer Turgenev?
He's so moving.
I just feel too much, Joe.
See, the junior league which, by the way, Craig,
I'm no longer a member of.
Junior League teaches you to respect and to love all of God's little creatures.
Even this little thing here.
The boat's back. I'm going to ski the course, Joe.
That's a wonderful idea. I think I'm going to go, too.
Why don't you stay here and keep me company?
I think I'm going, too. I'll see y'all later.
- What's the course? - Slalom. Down river.
- Do you mind if I come with you? - You know how?
I'll give it a try.
How'd you get so good?
I had to do something to get out of Prattville.
Did you ski professionally?
Skied Cypress Gardens last year.
- Really? - Best damn time I ever had.
You'll never get up on that one. Take this one.
All right.
- Why'd you quit? - I didn't. I broke my ankle.
Wait Mary Tate...
Let me explain about Dorothy.
Hey, look, you don't have to worry about me.
I'm not going to mess with your little lady.
- That's not what I meant. - Then what did you mean?
Dorothy and I, we've been...
Been friends for a long time.
- She's just... - Hey, Swamp.
That's a real pretty house you live in. I've been meaning to tell you that.
To hell with the course. Let's just ski.
Your friend Buell. He taught me a lovely song.
Y'all want to hear my song?
Oh, God what a song.
Oh, oh, my number's one
And the fun has just begun
Roll me over, lay it down, do it again
Roll me over
In the clover...
I'm not getting out of the car. I had too good of a time.
Oh, me, too. Thank you, Joe.
What a lovely day.
- Good night. - Hey, Craig.
Do you mind taking Mary Tate home?
No...
Good night, honey. Get a good night's rest.
Well, what about her foot?
Why don't you put the top up? It's getting chilly.
Joe, thanks a lot.
Craig.
Dorothy, I'll see you tomorrow.
Isn't that what you call pimping?
There's no telling where you're taking me now.
I'll take you to the Dobbs House to get us some eggs and coffee.
Sure, sure.
Well, the Dobbs House is not where I want to go.
Mary Tate?
Well, how's that foot of yours?
It's okay.
Here, let me take a look at it.
Does this hurt here when I do that?
A little.
Relax your foot.
Did you know every part of the foot corresponds to a part of the body?
Did you know that?
Now, here's your spine, right here.
Feel that.
And your lungs over here.
And here's your liver.
You may not be able to feel this, but...
That's it, that's your liver.
Where's my mouth?
It's right here.
Hey, you lied to me.
What?
You told me you was a businessman.
Shoot.
You ain't no businessman.
You look like some kind of white hunter to me.
Those.
You really like the way you look, huh?
Well, that's about all I've got to show for those the last two years.
Those were all new experiences.
I just hung those pictures up there to remind me what getting them was like.
You understand, don't you?
I think I can handle it.
Excuse me, sir.
No, William, it's all right.
This is Mary Tate Farnsworth.
How about some breakfast?
In bed, sir?
Well, no, we'll have it in the dining room for a change.
Yes, sir.
What's the deal between you and Joe?
There ain't no deal. What does that mean?
Well, I kind of got the impression that he set this whole thing up.
You think so.
Well, nobody sets me up.
Breakfast is ready, Mr. Blake.
Joe and I lived together once, that's all.
No brothers?
No.
No sisters?
No.
Cousins.
I got 137 cousins.
Where'd they all fit Christmas time?
They all live all around here, up in the hill here.
Downtown, we call this the mountain.
I know.
How'd your folks die?
They were on their way to North Carolina in my father's plane.
The pilot flew into a mountain in the fog.
I was camped up on Pyramid Peak at the time in the Rockies.
They were dead for two weeks before my uncle finally located me.
And then I moved in here in November.
How come you need such big place?
Well, I don't. It's...
It's just that it's been in the family for so long...
And you don't know what to do with it, do you?
No.
William, I'm sorry it was a mistake. Everything is fine.
The biscuits still warm, sir?
Everything's fine.
Listen, he's working on it.
Now, that much I know.
But he hasn't actually, what you say, bought it yet?
Well, I don't know. I haven t seen him in a couple of days.
He might have been out of town.
It's been 10 days, see...
And we got this architect over in Atlanta,
keeps billing us just like he don't know who Craig Blake is.
All of us know old Craig is slicker than snot on a doorknob.
But if he's having any trouble with that dude, you tell him.
If that's what the problem is, we might, we could help out some way.
Yeah, I'll tell him.
Hey, you do that, Hal.
Now, deal up there, Walter Jr.
Five card stud.
Same as what we were playing.
I was winning, I'm anted up, my red's right there.
All right, give me a good hand, will ya, Walter Jr.?
I'm tired of losing.
- You didn't eat your fortune cookie. - I never eat my fortune cookies.
- Well, give it to me, then. - No. It's mine. I save them.
No, I have a whole trunk full of Chinese fortune cookies at home.
When I'm old, one day I'm going to open them all up
and see how my life turned out.
Hey, Swamp, baby, come here.
Come over here.
Look at that picture.
Like on the second floor, right there in the middle.
- Do you like that? - Yeah, I do.
Just wait right there, sugar.
What do you mean wait?
Hello?
Hey, friend, what do you call that action?
Trying to take a painting off a wall.
Well, I tend to call it stealing.
Well, it's not stolen yet.
What did you do, rivet it on here?
Can't get security. Damn switchboards closed.
You're working late, aren't ya?
There we go.
Hey, hey, who the hell are you anyway?
You can't be a burglar.
There's something familiar about your face.
I am to a burglar.
Hell, no, you're not.
Hey! You're one of the Blakes.
It just came to me.
I've seen your picture 100 times on the social pages.
And even had a date with your cousin Victoria once.
I'm Freddie Kroop.
Fred Kroop.
No, you got the wrong fella.
Hey!
You got to sign out.
I never did sign in.
You can't be here unless you signed in or sign out.
Look, like I told you, I forgot to sign in.
Where'd you get that picture?
From a fella named Kroop.
Look, if it's that important to you,
I'll sign in and out at the same time. How's that?
Well, what you'll do is come with me up to Mr. Kroop's office.
Something ain't right here.
Look, I've got an appointment to make.
Something definitely ain't right.
All right, let's make this quick.
Hey!
You are crazy. You're absolutely crazy.
Some flowers for my lady.
They're flowers. I thought it was a lion.
You'd never ever get away with this in Prattville.
I'll tell you that right now.
Never. You know why?
'Cause my daddy was sheriff, that's why.
Let's get out of here.
Wait, you don't even like this thing?
Sir, take this to the nearest museum, will you please?
- What? What? - Thank you very much.
Hey, hey.
See what that crazy son of a bitch gave me?
Well, I'll take it.
Okay, square the shoulders, keep it tight down.
Keep it down, okay.
Now, shoulders back, keep the hip inside.
Tie the belt. Good girl.
Okay, shoulders down. Get down further. Get down further.
Okay, on defense, 70% of the weight is in the back.
Okay, ladies.
Let me show it to you again. Okay.
All right, let's try it again.
Line up.
Terrific. Terrific. Pathetic.
Take a break.
Say the precepts.
Ding-a-ling.
I don't know if it's me, them or I'm a bad teacher.
They can't even get position one after three months of class.
But when they do get it, look out.
They're going to wipe out Birmingham and everybody in it.
Perfect the virtue of patience.
- Mrs. Clyde? - Yeah.
She had an argument with her husband
about who was going to take the child to school.
So, she chops him one right in his private area.
Now, they all want black belts.
Pretty soon they'll have to invent a new color.
Gold, maybe, or pink.
How are things on the mountain?
Anita, we're having the best time. You know what we do? We go outside...
Good, good, good. I'm glad somebody's life is terrific.
- Very nice, Mrs. Clyde. Very nice. - Thank you.
Okay, ladies, let's see if we can do as well as the last time.
Here are your supplies you asked for.
God damn it, Newton, how many times do I have to tell you,
knock before you come in here.
Damn it, I was doing my pushups.
All right, Joe, can you handle more weight? Here I come, open up!
Ain't he wonderful, don't you just love him?
Joe, when are you going to take that mask off?
Oh, Joe,
I missed you.
There's my man.
- How you been, Hal? - Fine, Craig, fine.
You expecting buffalo up this way, or what?
No, just a little maintenance. Come on in.
- You're looking good, Hal. - You're looking all right yourself, Craig.
How are ya?
Well, I've been busy. Pretty busy.
Some of us have got to earn a living, you know.
Why are you eating that carrot like that?
It's good for your jaw muscles.
I eat 10 of these little suckers a day.
- Here, try it. - No.
- Craig, here. - It's healthy for ya.
No. Look, Craig, now what the hell is going on?
Now, Jabo and those guys aren't gonna wait forever, you know.
It's been almost two weeks.
You don't come to the meetings, you don't answer my phone calls.
Hal, I've been down there, the fella doesn't want to sell.
Great.
Besides, I'm not too interested in this deal anymore.
You're not too interested?
Well, listen, buddy, you better get interested
'cause you got my tail in a crack down there.
Now, don't you know what kind of guys these are?
I know what kind.
They're gonna have our legs broken or something.
Now, what the hell am I going to tell them?
Tell me everything is fine as wine, Hal. I don't give a damn what you tell me.
Hey! What's all the fussing about in here?
Mary Tate Farnsworth, Hal Foss.
How are you?
Everything is fine, baby. We're just doing a little business here.
Why don't you go take your bath?
Well, what kind... What kind of business?
Go take your bath, will ya please?
Okay, okay, Craig, now I understand.
But listen, Craig.
Now, this whole thing is too big deal for you to blow over a little tail.
Even if it does look like that one.
Ease off, Hal.
Hey, come on. Hey, don't you think
you're taking this attraction of yours to other types of people, too far?
- Ease off, Mother. - Hey, Craig, come on, man.
I mean, take a look at yourself. Stop it.
Look, you're up here in your parents' house...
You let people down on deals while you whoremonger around with broads.
- I ought to kick your ass for that, boy. - Will you listen to me?
Listen to me, damn it.
Now I'm telling you as a friend, Craig, you have got to get yourself on track.
Karate.
Grow up, will you...
I could take your eye out like popping an olive out of a bottle, boy.
Kill your ass deader than a snapper.
You're pitiful, you know that?
You are really pitiful.
- Everything okay down there? - Yeah.
Who was he, anyway?
Just a friend.
Why don't old William answer that phone?
He's hard of hearing.
Forget it. I know who it is anyway.
One thing I can't stand is a phone that don't quit ringing.
Listen, Mary, do you think Thor would ever sell the spa?
No. He's still thinks it's going to make him rich.
Hoop looks better on me, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Well, it doesn't look like he's doing much business down there.
Well, the first thing...
The first thing that people give up during a recession
is their membership in clubs like that.
I'm sorry, my dance card's completely filled.
You know, I've always wondered
how you ladies get out of these things.
My dance card just emptied.
No!
William. Get up.
William. What are you doing?
I'm quitting, that's what I'm doing.
Now you aren't serious, are you?
Yes, sir, I'm serious.
And I'd like to tell you something.
Your grandmamma, your grandmamma,
bless her soul.
If she could see what you're doing down here in her living room,
where she entertained quality born ladies and gentlemen,
she'd come out of that picture on the wall
and drive a butcher knife through your heart and I would help her.
Disgrace.
- What's the matter with him, baby? - William.
William...
You've been with us for 52 years.
Yes, sir.
Fifty-two long, good years.
But no more.
Come on, Willie.
And I'm taking everything that belongs to me.
Your grandmamma left me a whole lot of stuff in her will.
She left me this here, too.
Don't worry, honey, I'll be back to get ya.
And I'm gonna take your poor blind eyes out of here.
You hear? I'll be back.
Dear Craig,
traditionally, your uncle Henry
has been the Blake family's most notable black sheep.
You seem to be coming up fast on the outside.
I'll be returning from South Africa in time to attend Amy Walterson's party.
I assume you'll be there.
Fondest regards, Uncle Albert.
Let's go.
You still don't feel like telling me where you're taking me?
Relax.
Hey, Joe!
By doggies, I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays.
I wasn't expecting you down here now.
That's my friend, Craig Blake.
- This is Tom Haley. - How do you do, Mr. Haley?
- I'm glad to know you, Blake. - Pleased to meet you. My pleasure.
Joe, why don't you go around there where they're tuning up?
We'll be down there in a little bit.
Hey, son, where you from?
- Birmingham. - Birmingham?
Why, they don't even whistle down there anymore.
You know what that is you're listening at?
No, sir, I can't really say that I do.
That's true stick fiddling.
See, when you play it on a stand or off the music it's not called stick fiddling.
It's called a violin.
Now, Joe there, when he first come around asked to take a look on.
And see how he's using that bow now?
That's not just looking on.
Real authentic, huh?
Well, I reckon you could call it that, if you want to.
- Well played! - You're a good teacher.
You are full of surprises.
- That's what life is all about. - I don't know what you are.
I think I wanted to show off today, that's all.
You fellas are fantastic.
You realize, I had absolutely no...
- No intention... - Hey, it's cool.
- No, but do you really... - Hey, I've never seen her happier.
It's terrific.
You know, I've heard about this stuff all my life.
Kind of grows on ya, doesn't it.?
Yeah, but it's like a lot of good things.
You can get too much of it in a hurry.
Better be careful.
I've been careful all my life.
Yes. Come.
You see, Anita, every time anything's bothering you,
what you want to do is sweat.
Now what's this? The door's unlocked.
Just Thor upstairs balling a goat or something.
Hey! Who the hell are you?
Well, who the hell are you?
Just what are you doing?
I'm just fixing this air conditioner up here.
Who asked you?
Murray, Bones, y'all get down here.
You watch him, Anita.
- Looks like we got company. - Yeah, you do.
- Is it a cop? - You're gonna wish I was.
Now, who the hell are you guys?
Well, you sure don't look like no cop.
Get him, Murray, get him!
Anita! Hit the lights
I'm gonna get ya, boy.
Hit the goddamn lights!
Well, look what we got here. Our little buddy from the club.
What... What are you guys doing this for anyway?
- Shut up. - Yeah.
When I took this job, it was for money.
But now, it's gonna give me some real pleasure.
You hurt her downstairs and you're dead.
Well, I think I'd better be getting on, little lady.
Now, you be... You be good, hear.
Hotshot pool player, huh?
Well, let's see how good you are.
Left ball in the side pocket.
Y'all watch out. She's a Jap or something.
Jap, my ass.
Get out of the door, lady.
We don't want to hurt no lady.
Franklin.
Damn. Jabo didn't say nothing about no karate.
Customers can't use the place.
If I don't get it fixed right now, they're going to sue class action.
And damn it. I can't even afford to stage the contest now.
And that's gonna break Joe's heart.
How much are the damages?
You see, these people down here,
Mary Tate, Franklin, Newton, they're like my own children.
I helped every...
Thor, how much are the damages?
What with the air conditioning and all, it comes to 5,000.
- Five thousand? - To get it fixed right.
Why are you so interested in all of this, Blake?
Well, I was thinking...
If I could help you out I'd lend you the money.
You wouldn't happen to know nothing about
who them skunks were, would you?
- Jesus. - What do you want for the loan?
An IOU.
Look, do you want the money or not?
Blake, you ole son of a gun, me and you is just a like, anyway.
We just need to help people.
Have a sip.
Swamp, I forgot to tell you.
William came by today
and he took that ole piece of armor and he took your horse, too.
Said you owed it to him.
Bath's ready.
Not now, Mary Tate, okay?
- You sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
Well, what do you want to do then?
I want to sit in the goddamn chair, that's what I want to do!
Okay!
Swamp...
All you got to do is just sit there,
just be.
Mary?
I love you.
Great.
Do me a favor, baby, carry my compact for me?
I can't, doll.
How come? You got pockets.
It'll bulge, damn it, carry it yourself.
Well, I didn't want to take my pocketbook.
That's okay. I won't take it, I don't need it.
Yeah, right.
I sure hope Joe does good.
He's going to be fine. He plays the fiddle, doesn't he?
I'm so excited.
Well, how do I look?
- Shit, my clips. - You're beautiful.
- Do I? - Yeah.
Do I really?
Are you kidding, baby? You look fantastic.
You don't look bad yourself.
And don't you worry, hon. This is going to be fun for us.
Come on, now let's go, we're late.
- All right. - Come on.
Hi, Craig.
Hi. Good to see ya.
Victoria, look at you.
- Craig, it's so good to see ya. - Don't you look lovely.
I haven't seen you in weeks. Where have you been?
I know. I've been all over.
Victoria, I want you to meet Mary Tate Farnsworth.
- Hello, how are you? - Hi. I'm fine.
Will you excuse us? I see my man over there.
Of course. Good to have seen you again. See you later, bye-bye.
Bye-bye. Watch it now.
- Sorry. - Sorry.
Boy, you sure got some peaked looking relatives.
Hey, partner.
Where'd you get these duds?
Rented them.
Guaranteed authentic.
Well, you look really sharp.
Look at these people. Now, this is what you call class.
How are you, Mary Tate?
Excuse me. I got a relative to say hi to. I'll be right back.
Uncle Albert. Good evening, sir.
What's the matter with you, baby?
Well, don't you think this dress is a little bit out of place?
So, what if it is? It doesn't matter to me.
At least I don't look like Buffalo Bill.
Is my dress really all right?
Sweetheart, I told you your dress just looks pretty unusual.
You look lovely.
You both look fine.
Craig, Craig, darling!
Hi!
Here's our hostess.
- Amy, give us a kiss. - Craigy.
Why, Mr. Santo, I just want to tell you how delighted I am
that you and your paramour could join us this evening.
And, Craig, you were just a perfect muffin to get...
Me and my what?
Your little friend here.
Miss Farnsworth is Craig's little friend, Mrs. Waterson.
In the interest of clarity, Amy.
I see.
He has extraordinary musculature.
Yeah, it really takes a hell of a lot of dedication to work out like that.
Thank you.
In a couple of weeks he's going to be the new Mr. Universe.
I want y'all come and meet him. I think you'll enjoy that.
Yeah, I'd like that.
Joe, you got a second.
I want you to meet some fans of yours here.
Richard Packman. Mr. Joe Santo.
Now easy, easy, big fella.
He got my drinking hand.
He's a big one, ain't he?
Is that young lady your latest?
Well, well, she's really more a friend of Joe Santo's.
Yes?
Well, a friend of mine and his.
I see.
Craig?
Yes, Uncle Albert?
What happens to body builders when they get old?
They die.
This little gal here I've known since I was 11.
She's the only lady in this whole club
ever to work her way into a men's doubles game and win.
- Zoe, this is... - Let me introduce myself, Craig.
That's a marvelous idea.
All right, I'll see you later.
Who's that? How come I don't get to meet her?
You'll meet her later.
Don't pull my arm.
Who's buying the bourbon again?
I'm the guilty party.
Come on, I'll show you around this place.
Say, what do you all think of my buddy?
Leave it to ole Craig here.
Amy asked him to come up with a musical act and he comes up with a freak.
Nice work, Craig.
What'd he say?
Well, easy on the names, Halsey.
Hello, everybody.
Look who's here. Dorothy.
I just saw Joe outside.
He's a man of so many talents.
You remember Mary Tate.
Of course, I remember Mary Tate.
The little water ski girl.
I want a word with you, buddy.
- You do? - Yes I do, right now.
- Craig... - Wait for me.
Just talk to Dorothy.
Chub, a little bourbon here.
When did you turn vandal anyway?
Now wait, now I didn't have anything to do with that, and you know it.
But I warned you. Those guys are a natural force.
What did you expect?
What?
Well, that did it. I'm through, you hear?
Fine. That's just fine.
You just back out and leave me to pick up all the pieces
and all my money tied up in some two bit jewelry store.
You can't get out now.
I can get out whenever I feel.
You have no concern for obligations, you have...
- Obligations? - Yes, obligations.
To what?
Hey, you guys are getting a little loud.
- For busting up the spa? - Now, you owe this to me.
You owe it to yourself, don't you understand that?
Now, what the hell am I supposed to do?
I understand that you got yourself mixed up with a bunch of thieves, buddy.
Now easy, boys, easy. Easy, easy, easy.
Hey, give me a drink here, will you?
Hey, Suavey, Suavey...
There's supposed to be a show, supposed to start here tonight.
Now, you'd better go pry that big fella away from Zoe
or there ain't gonna be no show.
There's gonna be a show, all right.
Mr. Universe on the violin.
Hey, does he take requests?
Will he take his shirt off?
Will he show us his tits?
What the hell's matter with you?
He could crush you like an eggshell, Halsey.
You are sick.
Now, who do you think you're messing with?
Well, I'm messing with a pencil neck midget I believe.
Hit me if you're gonna hit me, boy! Come on.
Now, cool it.
Get out of here!
Listen, let's have a drink and then we'll have some damn entertainment.
Joe, when you... When you play,
now, you ought to be up here, up in front.
And these fellas just kind of...
That's it. That looks good.
Well, why don't you let us take care of this and you look after Mary Tate?
Okay.
Too much alcohol.
Hit the high part.
Mary Tate!
Who's that you're with?
Lester, how's everything going?
Well, hello, Suavey.
I was just telling Mary Tate here how fine everything is.
Except those damn Jap tools that are killing us, Craig.
They're cheaper than ours, but they do not have the life in them.
- They don't have the tensile strength. - Mary Tate, let's go.
- They nothing... - Joe's playing inside.
Well, I'm playing outside.
Glad everything's fine, Lester.
Fine? It's a hell of a lot better than fine.
Lester, let me see your lighter again, honey, will ya?
- Which pocket is it in, honey? - Sure, baby.
Look at this. Read that.
Zero defects.
Why this boy Lester here, you know,
he ain't got a goddamn one.
And you know what else?
There's only five other men in the entire state with that pin.
Just five, huh, Lester?
Well, it's for my factory, really. Not just for me.
- That's terrific. Just terrific, Lester. - Just five.
Ain't that terrific?
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, indeed.
Thank me. Thank you.
- Everybody having a good time? - Yes.
Good. Good.
Admiral, how can they stand that racket?
Please turn to page 93 in the green hymnal, sing along.
You dance divinely.
Come on, everybody. Let's hear it for Muscle Beach Symphony Orchestra.
Sorry, Tom. Sorry, fellas. Sorry, guys.
We'll all get together again soon.
That's it for the night, folks. Thank you.
Hey, Craig, come out here...
Would you give this check back to our hostess, please?
- You can't quit now. - I'll tell you what.
Come on, hey, let's give him a standing ovation.
Hey, hey, hold on there a minute now.
You wouldn't want to have an argument with him, would you?
Hey, it's done.
- It's done? - It's done.
- What did you do to him? - Piss off!
What do you care? You've been ugly with me all night.
What did you do to him?
I talked dirty to him.
He wanted to be sexy only he didn't know how.
These people...
Come on, we're going in to see Joe.
I don't want to go back in there.
All right, we can go home you can talk dirty to me.
You bring me here, you ignore me all night.
You act like somebody I don't even know.
You go back in there and watch Joe.
Lester, Lester, here's your lighter.
Stay out of this.
She's had too much to drink.
You stay out of it. I have not.
You have been acting the fool all night, Craig Blake.
- I'm through with you. - I told you to stay out of it.
You're the one who's over-done the drinking, boy.
Zero defects.
Yeah, zero defects.
Bullshit.
- Do you know where Joe is? - Take it easy, will ya?
Lady, do you know where Joe went?
What? Your friend? I'm afraid your friend left.
He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't do that without saying good-bye to me.
Come on, now, calm down.
Where'd he go, damn it?
He left, honey.
Craig, this young person is disturbing my party.
Seriously disturbing my party.
I know. We're leaving right now, Amy.
- We're going, okay? - Thank you very much.
Just a little excitement.
Don't worry about it.
I've seen it happen in service clubs all over the world.
That shower makes me feel so much better.
How you feeling, baby?
I'm leaving.
Baby, that was your first party like that.
Now, you're bound to be a little edgy.
I did it for them.
I wanted them to meet him and I wanted them to meet you.
Because you're so real, you know, you're...
You're so different.
- Baby... - Don't touch me.
I was proud of you. Now, can't you see that?
All these pictures here on the wall, these experiences you said you had.
You don't want me.
You want another trophy for your wall.
Baby, now don't go flying off at the handle.
And I'm not one of 'em.
Mary Tate!
I loved you, Craig.
- Mary! - I really loved you.
Can't we even talk about this?
Now wait, wait a minute.
Where are you going? You don't have all your stuff.
Craig, get out of my way. I don't want to hurt you.
Baby...
Hey!
I need you!
Baby, I need you!
Mary Tate!
Your mother's brother, Henry, had this pet goat as a child.
He never got over it.
When he got out of college, it was time for him to go into the business.
Henry wouldn't have any of it.
All he wanted to do was to be around goats.
So, your grandfather invited him to leave home.
And Henry eventually wound up in Jamaica.
He started that goat farm down there with four animals.
You know what it is now.
All over the place.
Now, the point is that to make anything meaningful out of a life,
it really doesn't matter what you do.
Only that you do something and do it unsparingly.
Look...
Uncle Albert, I appreciate this visit and the bits of family history.
I'm just a little strung out now.
Is that what you call it?
Craig...
Why don't you shit or get off the pot?
I suppose you're right.
What do you look at?
Squirrels.
I never had a goat as a child.
Fifty-inch chest, 19-inch arm,
28 and a half inches waist.
Medium high class.
Next.
Dave Drew. Five-foot ten.
Two hundred and ten pounds.
Forty-nine-inch chest.
Nineteen-inch arm. Thirty-inch waist.
Are you entering as a medium or a tall?
What's this guy Santo going in?
Tall.
Put me in the medium.
Smart choice.
Next.
Hey, hey, where's your boy?
You hiding him out, or what?
He's cooling out down at some island,
and you're gonna see him sooner than you want to there, Swick.
How about a picture? You got a picture of the guy?
Hey, looks like you been hitting them traps pretty hard there, Stewart.
Not now, Laverne.
Hey, what the hell kind of language is that?
It's a language he invented. He's my little brother. He's a genius.
We talk that way to keep things private.
It gives me the creeps.
He gives me the creeps.
Besides, I like the way you're always cultivating interesting new people.
I thought they were nice. I really did.
And I could certainly understand your attraction to that little country girl.
She was sweet.
You want some ice tea?
Craig, I'm so glad you came.
I knew you'd get over all that silliness.
You look like your old self again.
Could we go to Anniston this weekend?
Tootey and Charles have some English friends in town
and Becky Farr is driving in from Nashville.
Don't you understand? She's not coming in.
Why?
Just because she split the blanket with that pretty boy Blake?
Now, you tell her I'll take care of her.
You know how I feel about Mary Tate.
Sure I do.
Thor, there's a guy downstairs says he wants to talk to you.
I'm busy.
He ain't here to take out no membership. This guy's a dude.
Says he's got a business proposition for you.
I'll be down in a minute.
How come Joe ain't back? Tomorrow's the contest.
He'll be back. I talked to him last night.
Now run on over to the auditorium and check out the lights.
I don't want nothing to go wrong. Do you hear me?
Do I look deaf?
- Newton? - Yeah?
You see this here money?
Sit down, right here.
In my chair.
Keep your hands on that shoe box and your eye on that door.
And don't you move until I get back. Do you understand?
And when Joe wins this prize money, there's a big bonus in it for you.
What can I do for you?
Mr. Erickson.
Jabo, your license number 67163?
- Six four. - Six four.
This guy's here on business from Cleveland, say.
Poor bastard missed a connection in Atlanta, been travelling all day long.
And he checks into this place around 9:00 at night.
He's tired, you know, he don't feel good, you know what I mean?
So, what's he gonna do, huh?
I'll tell you what.
He don't know how to get him no ass in Birmingham.
So, what's he gonna do?
He's gonna head for a parlor every time, you know that.
Get him a little bit of rub-a-dub-dub and who knows what all.
- Now, ain't I right? - You better believe it, boy.
Now see, we picked you out of over 100 fellas to run this operation
'cause you got class.
Don't bother, it's only gonna ring once.
All you gotta do is sell your little business
to our good buddy Craig Blake.
And then we're gonna set you up as the massage parlor king of Alabama.
Craig Blake?
You boys gonna do business with that little flea bite?
You going broke.
Now, listen, I appreciate your offer but I gotta have some time to think about it.
Here are the ladies.
- Hi. - Hello, hello.
I thought you might like to meet some of the ladies that might be working for you.
Audition them, you might say.
What's fun for two is more for four.
Now, I know you're jiving.
Look, why don't you hold on for a minute?
Maybe we ought to show the girls some exercise we do around here.
Let's kind of work into this.
Girls, Flower, Mae Ruth.
I want to tell you that there ain't no common ordinary negro.
There is Wamba.
Jungle bomb. Honeypot.
Come on, y'all, let's get naked.
Jabo said to treat these boys right.
- Now, we'd better do it. - Yeah, but...
Now I don't mind learning about lifting them weights and all,
but I sure as hell gonna have my privacy. And Flower, too.
That's right, 'cause me and Wamba want to be alone.
But, you're not going to whip me with that thing, are ya, honey?
No. Who the hell is Wamba?
Ain't she something else? Man.
Hey.
I want to know y'all are having a good time in there now, by God.
Warm her up. Go on.
Might, come in and try her myself a little later. Go on.
You know, I was telling Mae Ruth I never had no negro date before.
You want me to get naked?
Sure, sure, get naked if you want to.
Don't take your pants off.
Keep your pants on.
Lay down on your stomach. Face down. Face down.
Hey, hey, hey, what are you going to do with that that thing?
Trust me.
Is... Isn't this fun?
Okay now, gray meat, what you thought you was going to get
you could get from anybody crazy enough to fool with your worthless behind.
But I'm giving you something you can't buy nowhere else.
Now where'd you get these things from? A mail-order house?
Who has been taking care of this skin of yours, child?
No color.
You know, I was an acrobat when I was a little girl.
I got real good.
Mama finally took me into town and gave me lessons.
So, I'll tell you something.
It hasn't hurt me much in my professional life.
There, now see, we can do this here all night.
Right on up until he pass out in there.
Now, you can go on with your worthless life.
Me? I'm gonna get my young ass up to
and get me a chicken farm when I get my bonus money.
Maybe shed all this city trash like y'all.
You know that Kentucky colonel and his chicken?
When I get through, you gonna be Kentucky fried.
Newton!
What you want?
I'm gonna throw 300 pounds of iron through that door if you don't open it up.
Hold it. I gotta get up.
She's good.
And you'd better keep your mouth shut, you hear?
Not a word.
I'm coming through.
We've been going to town.
Wamba.
Where's that electrical massager?
Down at the bottom.
I had to tie her up as soon as she come in here.
I'm gonna hang this night up on the wall and frame it. By God.
Her friend taught me tricks you wouldn't believe.
This negro's trying to kill me.
Old trick. New tricks.
I'm coming through, hike!
I'm running a little late. I think I'll just grab a taxi.
No, I'll drive you over, like to see that pageant or whatever it is.
I don't think it would interest you.
Thanks for the trip.
That's all? Just thanks?
That's all I have.
The plane leaves again tomorrow, lovey.
Come on, come on out here.
Now, cut that out now.
Now, I can't deny that you're under paid. Here, give me.
$20 for you. And $20 for you.
Come on, let's get out of here.
- Thanks. - Come on.
Bonus money. Now you girls lucky.
I've seen Thor keep girls up here three or four days
before even thinking about passing out. Come on, let's go.
Our next contestant in the short class, is the great Sardinian Warrior.
Franco Orsini.
Say, which way is backstage?
Backstage? This way.
All right, mediums, let's go.
Hey, we gotta line up, line up.
Hey, any of you fellas seen Joe Santo?
Hey, George, get out there. I told ya, come on, come on.
Hey, are you the stage manager?
Hey, Leroy, I told you five minutes.
Do you know where Joe Santo is?
He's not medium.
Hey, you're number three. Get out there.
I don't know. Number two.
Hey, asshole.
How many poses do we have to do?
- Seven or eight? - Eight poses.
Say, any of you seen Joe Santo around?
- Yes, right next door. - Thank you.
What do you mean, mediums? We need five more minutes.
Hey, Joe.
Do the four steps, you know, one knee it should do it.
How are ya? Glad to see ya.
And don't forget it. Keep tensing the thighs.
Did you have a good time with Zoe?
Fine. All right.
You think you'll see her again?
Nope.
Why not?
I don't like being too comfortable.
Once you get used to it, it's hard to give up.
I'd rather stay hungry.
Hey, Santo.
When are you gonna show me what you got?
Terrific, Doug. Are you going to do that on stage?
You'll see when we get out there.
Your peanuts, Joe.
Hey, Franklin.
Is it authentic enough for you back here?
What's on your mind?
- That's why I... - Hiya.
- ...came over here to talk to you about. - Moe Zwick.
Rhymes with "quick."
That's my boy over there. Laverne, there's oil on the floor.
Listen, I've been worrying a little bit about Erickson.
Now, I'm not implying that he would head south
with all that entry money, but him not being here just makes me nervous,
you know, and I'm not usually a nervous individual.
Mae Ruth.
Come here.
I want to do some more.
Mae Ruth.
Jesus, Thor, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the contest.
I ain't going to the contest. I ain't going to the contest.
- Well, I'm getting out of here. - Don't go, don't go. Stay here with me.
Don't go to the contest.
- Stay here with me. - Thor!
Mary Tate, stay here with me. Can't go to that contest.
Stay here. I know now what I'm doing.
Look, see. Look, look.
Look.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
I know, I know you're unhappy.
Look, see. Look. I just wanna make you happy.
Buy you things, pretty things.
Make you feel good. I can make you feel happy right now.
Look. Look, see, see...
Please...
Come on, come on.
It won't hurt you. Come on.
Just a little, just a sniff come on.
Breath deep.
It's just that I miss her so much.
I feel so bad about what happened at the party.
I'm sorry, Joe. Really, I am.
Joe!
Will you put the goddamn dumbbells down?
Let's go.
Why do you come to me? Why don't you tell her?
Because I thought she was going to be here.
Look around. She's not.
Okay, everybody on stage.
Thanks a lot, Joe, that helps me. Thank you.
Listen, buddy, you had her once and you let her go.
I got my contest to win here today.
I can't believe you, you really want to win this
and you're giving this stay hungry shit.
- I don't know where she is. - I can't believe you.
And even if I did I still wouldn't tell you.
Why, because you want her for yourself?
Now you're talking about something you don't know anything about.
Yeah, do you know what I think?
I think you were testing her, you bastard.
Give us a break, Blake.
You believed all along she was coming back to you.
Come on, now, my boy has a show to do.
I told you awhile back you can't grow without burning.
- I don't need this shit. - Yeah, you do.
Craig, Craig, listen to me.
Now you check the spa.
Anita told me that Mary Tate was going back there to pick up her stuff.
Listen, I got to get out front, all right?
Thanks a lot. But if she shows here, just tell her to wait.
Okay. Listen, if you see Thor, you tell him, now's the time.
Follow that guy. Find out what's with Erickson.
Don't worry about Doug. The finals are in 15 minutes, follow him.
Follow him, go on.
Mary!
Mary Tate!
Mary!
I've been looking all over for you.
You all right?
I love you, baby.
I'm not going to let you go. I love you.
Let me go, he let me go.
Who let you go? What happened?
- Mary Tate! - I'm scared.
We have to go.
What happened? What did he do to you?
Blake!
Find Joe.
What did you do to her, bastard? What did you do to her?
Pissant, where are you?
Who the hell are you?
It's okay!
Santo! Santo! Santo! Santo!
Come on, come on, that's enough, that's enough.
Break it up, break it up. One of you is going to pass out.
Come on, take your positions. One of you is going to pass out.
In just a moment the judges will announce the new Mr. Universe.
The guy named Santo. He's from Austria.
Quiet!
- Fight, a fight. - Fight? Where?
- At Erickson's place. - Oh, my God.
Hey, where are you going? Hey, Santo where you going?
Dougie, Dougie, I knew it.
The son of a bitch is taking off with our prize money.
Ladies and gentlemen, the new Mr. Universe,
Joe Santo!
Hey, listen to me now.
You're causing a panic here, now talk slow.
Hey, did Joe Santo come this way?
He had posing trunks on.
Is that what you're wearing?
I thought those were his underpants, man.
No, no. Body builders.
He's one of them body builders, man.
Show the people what body builders do, man.
Hey, Ed, did you see where Santo went?
No.
These people want to see poses.
Yeah!
We might as well.
Where's Joe? He took the prize money.
Coming through, coming through.
Hey, what the hell is going on here?
Leave us alone, huh?
Hey, Officer.
Attempted rape. Assault. Enough to give him 10 years.
How about taking care of the crowd, Owen?
Excuse me, Officer. What happened to this guy Erickson?
He come through the window. They just took him off.
He's in a lot worse shape than that Blake boy.
That's a shame. Look, you didn't happen to see no money on him, did ya?
How about just moving along?
I can't believe it.
You beat up on Erickson 'cause he tries to diddle your girlfriend.
She drops the charges, he agrees to sell
and now you're saying you won't sell us back the place?
That's right.
Me and Mr. Universe, we're going into the gym business.
That doesn't mean you boys aren't welcome back here.
Hell, we'll put you... Put you all on a program.
Help you to take care of those love handles of yours now, Walter Jr.
Hey, now, boy, quit it.
And that's it, huh?
Jabo, have you thought about building a skinny high rise?
Or maybe a little fat, short squatty one around my place.
Look, two months from now you're gonna get tired of playing with all these toys
and you're gonna crawl to us to bail your ass out.
Maybe.
But for now, I like it down here.
Well, let me set something straight.
From now on you do your business on the other side of town.
You listen to me, hear?
What's he doing? Posing.
- You think that's funny? - That's funny.
No, that's funny.
- Dear Nephew... - You'll see.
...you may not have become the Blake we anticipated
but you are definitely Craig Blake.
An identity that no one will dare challenge.
Muscle men amuck in the town your forebearers built.
A formidable achievement.
Fondly, Uncle Albert.
Well, it's a sold house, William.
Dear Uncle Albert,
do it unsparingly you once said, and so I have.
I asked William if he would like to stay on with the new owners
but he feels that way of life is as much behind him as it is for me.
He's opened a thrift shop downtown,
using the more salable objects from the house with which to build his trade.
Found us a spot down by the river.
- William! - Yes, sir?
We offered him a guest membership at the spa
but he contends that massage, rays, weight training and the like
would send him to an early grave.
I think in some very special way
William's approval means more to me than anyone else's in the family.
Give us a hug here.
Come on down to the spa sometime, William.
It seems strange to be leaving the house I was born in.
But I think we both know I left a long time ago.
I simply neglected to move out.
Squirrels abound where Mary Tate and I will be living.
So, come spy on them and us.
Your most loving nephew, Craig.